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Here are some proverbs and taglines...................
*Stand on toilet, get high on pot.
*Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
*Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.
*War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
*Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
*43% of all statistics are worthless.
*The believer is happy. The doubter is wise.
*Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it.
*If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit.
*Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
*Many complain of their looks, but none of their brains.
*To be loved is to be fortunate, but to be hated is to achieve distinction.
*Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
*Silence is one of the most effective forms of communication.
*Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
*I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.
*Patience will come to those who wait for it.
*You're only young once; you can be immature forever.
*I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
*A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
*Conserve energy... fart in a jar
*Girl laid in tomb may soon become mummy..
*There are 3 kinds of people in this world...those you want things to happen, those that make things happen, and those who just wonder what the hell happened!
*Join the army! Travel the world, Meet interesting people, and kill them.
*I've discovered that I often visit the state of confusion, and I know my way around pretty well.
*Smile, everyone loves a moron.
*Roses are red, violets are blue, I once thought I was ugly, until I saw you!
*Next time you wave at me, use more than one finger, please!.
These warnings were actually placed on real products, honestly!
•Sleeping Pills -- Caution: May make you drowsy.
•Lighters -- Contents flammable.
•Dog Shampoo -- The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.
•Shampoo -- Intended for use on hair only -- not eyes.
•Stroller -- Remove infant before folding for storage.
•Curling Iron -- Not for internal use.
•Microwave Oven -- Do not use for drying pets.
•Child's Playhouse -- This is not a toy.
•Toilet Bowl Cleaning Brush -- Do not use orally.
•King Size Mattress -- Warning: Do not attempt to swallow.
•Can of Insecticide -- This spray is harmful to insects.
•Firecrackers -- Do not light while holding in mouth.
•Fat-Free Potato Chips -- May cause anal leakage.
•Peanut Butter -- Warning: May contain nuts.
•TV Dinner -- Remove plastic wrap cover before eating.
•Batteries -- Do not swallow. C or D batteries may cause choking.
•.22-Caliber Rifle -- May cause injury or death.
•Hardware Store Rotary Drill -- This product not intended for dental purposes.
•Hemorrhoid Suppositories -- Remove aluminum wrapping before insertion.
•Disposable Diapers -- Dispose of after use.
•Electric Cattle Prod -- For use on animals only.
lol!
Why don't you go shave your BACK now?
